Getting married is one of the most important decisions you’ll ever make, so naturally, before you get down to all the wedding planning, it’s important to have these five chats.
Asking your partner if they want children is really something that should be discussed even before the engagement. Children are a huge lifestyle change and a life-long commitment to undertake and as brides in particular do not have a lifetime to make this decision, it’s important to establish this early-on in the relationship. You shouldn’t stop the children chats there though. Even if you and your partner have agreed that you want kids, you should also have chats about when you want them, how you’d raise them, etc. It’s better to discuss issues like these now, rather than to lock heads on differing opinions when it’s too little too late.
It’s said to make the world go round, but not only that, it also could determine the survival of your marriage. Finances are the biggest topics in which newlyweds argue over, so forget skirting about the issue and face the subject head on. One of the biggest decisions to make is whether to pool your finances together or to continue on the way you are with separate accounts. Determine which the spender is and which the saver is and play to your strengths. If you have any money concerns with your partner, better to speak up now. Nothing brings financial issues to the forefront quite like saving and spending on a wedding! Whilst having chats about finances, discuss your career plans and were you aim to be in five years’ time. If your plans drastically differ with your partners then a compromise can be reached before the issue has even arisen.
Aside from the actual wedding ceremony itself, religion will play a massive part in your relationship depending on how important you or your partner’s faith is to them. It’s perhaps an idea to talk about your faith and how it impacts your lives as of now, especially if you have different religions. It may also become an important talking point if you decide to have children and you differ on how to raise them, faith-wise.
Reflection is key to argument resolution. Arguments are inevitable in any relationship and you’ve probably already had your fair share, but how you handle the situation determines the outcome for your relationship. Reflect on a recent argument you had with your partner; recognise what sparked the conflict, what made it worse and most importantly, what resolved it. Understanding each other’s way of managing conflict is key to a happy and more stable relationship.
Give and take
If there’s anything that will drive you nuts in your marriage, it’s better to get it out in the open and chat about it sooner rather than later. Whether it’s your disdain at your partner flirting with women in front of you, or your pet hate of the toilet seat being left up, be honest and upfront and make sure you let him voice his issues too.