Dealing with Libido Loss
In closed societies like ours there are many problems related to intimate relations. The common perception is that problems related to sex must be the woman’s fault- the general assumption being that she must be frigid. Some women wear this medal as a sign of being pious and above the allure of base animal instincts.
This quarter we are discussing one such delicate issue. Men in societies like ours, are usually sexually frustrated and to say that they have a low sex drive or in medical terms low libido, seems a little odd and yet it happens! Women are groomed to believe that the only reason to engage in sex is for the purpose of procreation. That does not help either when trying to have a normal relationship!
Many married women silently endure their husbands’ lack of interest in them and suffer from chronic depression at times. But not all married couples fall into this category. There can be some curable reasons for low libido in men and we are listing eight most common ones so they can be ruled out before the poor man can be condemned for being an uninterested, ungrateful and unappreciative pig.
Books describe low libido as a decreased interest in sexual activity. It is common for everyone, both men and women, to lose interest in sex from time to time and libido levels vary through life. It is also common that a man’s desire for sex may not match his wife’s passion for it. However, low libido for a long period of time is a cause for concern because it can sometimes be an indicator of some underlying health conditions. A man might never discuss this with his partner because that will question his masculinity!
Testosterone is the hormone that controls sex desire and performance in men. There are many things that cause the hormone to drop from normal level. Some of these things can be medication, stress, illness, bad habits, restless legs syndrome (RLS), sleep apnea, sleeplessness, aging and depression. If you notice any of these signs, drag your partner for a simple blood test for a starter to get his hormone levels checked. If the reading is below the normal level the issue needs to be addressed medically.
Sex plays a vital role in life. A little effort to get this important aspect of life back on track is worth it. The first step to solving any issue in life is to acknowledge it exists. The second is to convince your partner to openly talk about it with you. A relationship in which a man and a woman cannot talk about their feelings openly and have to pretend to be what they are expected to be, is one of the bigger tragedies.
Do not give up on your relationship just because the man is too shy to look his issues in the eye and deal with them. All the reasons barring chronic illness are curable and even those suffering from chronic illness can discover many ways to enjoy intimacy and a full healthy life with a little expert help.
Some medicines taken for a long period of time, especially related to heart, blood pressure and depression, can cause low sex desire. Doctors can easily switch medicines or dosage to address the issue but the doctor needs to be told that there is an issue.
Aging is a natural process but modern medicines have many solutions to specific age related issues and there is no reason why these solutions should not be adopted to prolong the natural healthy and fulfilling lifestyle.
It is easy to say that one should adopt a healthy lifestyle and avoid bad habits like greasy foods, less sleep and high stress but it is not always in our control. However, pulling oneself back in the saddle can very well start by engaging in healthy activities like sex. It is an approach that makes you conscious of weight, takes away the stress and keeps the depression in check. If you notice that your partner is moving his legs unnecessarily while lying down on the bed do not ignore it as a bad habit. It may be suggesting that he is suffering from RLS. Take him to the doctor and find out what is causing it. Once RLS is sorted sex life will be back on track.
Sleep apnea can be dangerous. Again medical help is required and once sorted it will also resolve the no sex issue. Now remains the one important question. When do you decide that the no-sex situation is a cause of worry and when do you just ignore it? Well, there is no one formula that fits all. It is all personal, but when it starts to bother you, it is time to do something about it. Write to us if you have any questions that we can find help for you about.