The fault-finder’s guide to a semblance of sanity

Posted on March 24, 2021 by Aliya Azhar

Do you suffer from a condition in which one is constantly looking for imperfections? Are you always pointing out the mistakes and errors of others? Are you one of those who know this about yourself or are oblivious to this side of your personality?

I know many can relate but only some would have the guts to admit: “Yes, I am a fault-finder and I cannot help it and definitely, it cannot be pleasant for anyone around me.”

You have heard the word ‘perfectionist’ many times. What connotations do you associate with it? Good or bad? This constant desire to BE PERFECT and MAKE THINGS PERFECT around us, is what makes us a fault-finder. It may not be such a bad thing until it begins to inject frustration and impatience in our personalities.

Most of the time, it will not be possible for you to fix everything. The problem with being a fault-finder is that you are constantly in a state of stress. And stress is a killer. People always seem to annoy you because let’s face it, human beings cannot be perfect. And because your mind is automatically directed towards problems and pitfalls, that is exactly what you see! And with the passage of time this habit, becomes a pain for others around us.

I am going to share a couple of things which I did (and am still doing) to eliminate this habit:

  1. BE AWARE:  Be conscious of your thoughts: notice your reaction to every situation and then take a moment’s pause. Have a glass of water.
  2. BE GRATEFUL: Next thing you do in that paused moment is that instead of being critical, find something to appreciate. Now I don’t know how many of you have seen the movie Pollyanna, but I picked it up from that movie in which this 12-year old girl, looks for things to be grateful for in every stressful situation. Believe me, it hasn’t been easy, but it works (need practice though).
  3. BITE YOUR TONGUE: Another thing that works is this: bite your tongue (don’t laugh). I know it is weird, but guess what? It works like magic! When you are thrown into a situation which causes stress and your mind keeps shouting and yelling please let me speak, just hold your tongue for a couple of minutes, and instead of harshly judging everything, let this moment pass. You will notice how your response will change in like next few moments. Don’t believe that? Try it, and with a little practice you will be thanking me!
  4. UNDERSTAND: Understand the fact that humans will undoubtedly make mistakes. Being understanding is the new cool thing. And understanding makes you look attractive. So try it next time.
  5. ACCEPT: Finally, accept the greatest truth: The only person you can change is the one you see in the mirror. We cannot change the other person or the world around us. So stop expecting anyone else to change and stop trying. Till then, you take care and be nice to yourself.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *