Romance is not just about a box of chocolates. Successful relationships are not only about rainbows and butterflies. A healthy partnership requires communication, respect and plenty of good habits from both people. So when dating that special someone, avoid certain habits that will certainly lead to complications. For one, do not stalk their ex on Facebook and then do not keep your feelings bottled up. These and some other bad habits could make a great relationship take a turn for the worse.
1. TRYING TO IMPROVE HIM/HER
News flash: There is no such thing as a perfect person, so do not expect unrealistic changes. Reminding him or her to make the bed is one thing, but trying to radically change shyness or anxiety is another and could be ignoring the underlying causes for those issues in the first place.
2. FINDING FAULTS WITH THE FAMILY
Whenever there is some clashing of heads, do not focus on the family’s faults. Getting criticism about one’s family members can make people feel depressed and hostile.
3. FIGHTING IN PUBLIC
Arguing in public can embarrass your partner and make everyone around you, feel awkward. Talk it out in private, please.
4. PROLONGING FIGHTS
Love is not all good, all the time. Disagreements are bound to happen, and arguments can be a healthy part of a relationship. Just do not make fighting an ‘all-day’ and ‘every day’ affair.
5. NOT TALKING IT OUT
If something is wrong, the other person cannot read your mind. When a problem comes up, speak up at the right time. Similarly, avoiding an issue that the other person is feeling angered about and pushing it under the carpet, makes the other person feel more angry. Address the problem and talk about it even if no solutions can be found. And do not forget to say, “I love you”. Expressing emotions- positive and negative can benefit a bond.
6. FORGETTING TO FORGIVE
People make mistakes and holding on to grudges may not only hurt a relationship, it could also cause unwanted stress and anxiety. Sympathy may be easier to give if we realise it will benefit our health.
7. TIMING DISCUSSIONS BADLY
Conversations about important issues, like relationship expectations and financial blunders, all have their time and place. Do not bring up serious topics when someone is stressed, like at the end of the workday or right before hosting a party. Set up a time to talk when both people are relaxed and ready with an open mind.
8. KEEPING SCORE
Surely, relationships should be about give and take, but do not keep track of every little detail (For example: I bought you a watch on your birthday and you only got me a box of chocolates for Valentine’s Day).
When two people want to make it work, trust is key. Have confidence in your mate and respect their privacy: Do not snoop through texts, emails, or bedroom drawers.
10. ALLOWING JEALOUSY TO TAKE OVER
Doubting your partner may be a symptom of insecurity. Women who feel insecure in their relationships may be at greater risk for health issues like a weakened immune system. Some advice for reducing envy, at least temporarily: Stay off Facebook and other social networking sites.
11. LETTING GO OF YOURSELF
Sometimes when partners feel secure with each other, they end up putting on a few pounds, possibly because they are less physically active. Try being a power couple to stay both happy and healthy. Low self-esteem is sometimes linked to low sex drive, which could make things less heated in the bedroom. Getting active, setting goals, and even smiling can improve self-confidence. But don’t forget that an unhealthy relationship can actually cause low-self esteem, so steer clear of someone who makes you feel less than great.
12. CONSTANTLY COMPARING
Forget the ex and stop comparing a current partner with a person from the past. This could lead to unrealistic expectations. Also stop comparing your partner to other family members his or hers both, for positive or negative aspects both!
13. DOING EVERYTHING TOGETHER
Everyone needs some alone time (even hopelessly devoted couples). Solitude may even enhance relationships, making together-time more valuable.
Little white lies can add up and ruin a relationship that should be built on honesty. There is wiggle room, of course: “Sweetie, you are the best cook in the world…” but that is it, no more lying unless it is a compliment!
15. TAKING HIM OR HER FOR GRANTED
Always remember why you love that special someone. Showing gratitude and paying attention to that good person by your side will only make the relationship stronger.
If you feel you have already tried all of the above and the relationship is still not working, my word of advice for you is to know when it is time to quit on a relationship that is taking its toll on your happiness and health. Run for the hills!