There is something specially disturbing about the call for women to involve in self-care as a means of preparation for service towards others. We often hear statements such as, “Take care of yourself so that you can take care of others!”

Allow us to offer a different perspective.

There is great morality and joy in being an encouraging selfless soul. Among us are natural healers and caregivers, those to whom service towards others is both essential and satisfying. Acts of service are part of what make the community able to function, and these acts will forever be an essential part of our ethnic composition.

Engaging in self-care will often grow your ability to serve more efficiently and avoiding feelings of anger and anxiety. When we take care of ourselves, whatever that looks like for you, we naturally are better at whatever we do. But is service to others the foundation of our existence? Is that all we’re meant for? Is being more useful to others the soul drive behind why we exercise self-care? The answer is a ‘No” for sure.

Women, even in this day and age have been raised to believe that our worth is dependent upon two things:

1. Our appearance: be pretty, be thin, wear makeup but not too much makeup, always look put together and conform to the current, arbitrary, unachievable standard as it relates to women’s bodies.

2. Our domestic capabilities: cleaning, cooking, getting married, producing babies are acts of service which may or may not be the woman’s preference. And of course take care of everyone else first leaving yourself for last. And when you get to yourself then you have to make sure you are perfect as well. If a woman chooses to take care of herself for any other reason than her family, it’s an act of selfishness.

The truth is that you exist as a single, autonomous individual, self-sufficiently. You don’t exist simply to please and serve others. Your presence, your actions, your endeavors in self-care, truly can be just for yourself. Take care of yourself so that you can take care of yourself. It’s a concept for many of us, but we can pick to adopt this new, enhanced way of life.

If you want to cherish others because that’s your role in your community, more power to you. Like we said, many of us are born healers and nurturers, and the very act of doing so is fulfilling our purpose. It is critical that we sustain the self-care routine as our highest duty to yourself and no one else. Take care of yourself so that you can take care of others as well.